A Reading List for Understanding Your Past,
Childhood Wounds, and Nervous System Recovery
With the holidays coming up, I wanted to share a list of the psychology books I return to again and again, both personally and as a psychologist.
They make meaningful gifts, and they’re great additions to your own holiday wish list, especially if you're craving deeper self-understanding, emotional regulation skills, or a more grounded start to the new year.
Below is a curated list of my favourite psychology books; each one chosen for its trauma-informed, research-backed, and emotionally validating approach.
1. Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
Topic: Shame, Inner Critic, Emotional Healing
A clear, research-backed guide to building a kinder internal world. Neff shows you how to talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you love; without judgment, self-blame, or perfectionism.
Why it matters: Essential for anyone whose inner critic is loud or who never learned what self-compassion actually looks like in practice.
2. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Topic: Trauma Recovery, Nervous System, Somatic Healing
A foundational trauma book that explains how trauma reshapes the brain and body. Includes evidence-based tools like EMDR, yoga, somatic therapy, and neurofeedback.
Why it matters: A must-read if you want to understand how trauma actually lives in the body and what helps it heal.
3. Running on Empty by Jonice Webb
Topic: Childhood Emotional Neglect, Self-Worth, Inner Validation
A clear introduction to emotional neglect and how “what didn’t happen” in childhood affects adult identity, self-esteem, and relationships.
Why it matters: Game-changing for high-functioning adults who feelsomething is “missing” but can’t explain why.
4. Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
Topic: Attachment Styles, Relationship Patterns
A simple, highly readable breakdown of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment, and how these patterns show up in dating and long-term relationships.
Why it matters: Perfect for anyone tired of repeating the same relationship cycles and wanting more emotional safety and clarity.
5. The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller
Topic: Collective Grief, Ritual, Emotional Depth
Weller introduces the “Five Gates of Grief” and explains why grief is not an individual burden, but a communal experience. Poetic, validating, and deeply human.
Why it matters: A beautiful companion for anyone grieving a loss, the state of the world, or their own unmet emotional needs.
Healing is Not a Solo Project
These books are not a substitute for therapy, but they can be a powerful supplement. They remind you that your pain makes sense, your story matters, and there are practical ways to shift long-held patterns.
If you’re ready to go deeper in a safe, supportive space, I offer trauma-informed therapy for adults navigating identity confusion, grief, anxiety, and relationship struggles, especially those living abroad or with a history of childhood trauma. Book a free consultation today.
