Your Go-To Reading List forUnderstanding Past Patterns, Childhood Wounds, and Nervous System Recovery
With theholidays coming up, I wanted to share a list of the psychology books I returnto again and again – both personally and as a psychologist. They makemeaningful gifts, and they’re also great additions to your own holiday wish list,especially if you're craving deeper self-understanding, emotional regulationskills, or a more grounded start to the new year.
Belowis a carefully curated list of my favourite psychology books; each one chosenfor its trauma-informed, research-backed, and emotionally validating approach.
1. Self-Compassion by KristinNeff
Topic: Shame, Inner Critic, Emotional Healing
A clear, research-backed guide to building a kinder internal world. Neff showsyou how to talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you love; withoutjudgment, self-blame, or perfectionism.
Why it matters: Essential for anyone whose inner critic is too loud orwho never learned what self-compassion actually looks like in practice.
2. The Body Keeps the Score byBessel van der Kolk
Topic: Trauma Recovery, Nervous System, Somatic Healing
A foundational trauma book that explains how trauma reshapes the brain andbody. Includes evidence-based tools like EMDR, yoga, somatic therapy, andneurofeedback.
Why it matters: A must-read if you want to understand how traumaactually lives in the body and what helps it heal.
3. Running on Empty by JoniceWebb
Topic: Childhood Emotional Neglect, Self-Worth, Inner Validation
A clear introduction to emotional neglect and how “what didn’t happen” inchildhood affects adult identity, self-esteem, and relationships.
Why it matters: Game-changing for high-functioning adults who feelsomething is “missing” but can’t explain why.
4. Attached by Amir Levine &Rachel Heller
Topic: Attachment Styles, Relationship Patterns
A simple, highly readable breakdown of anxious, avoidant, and secureattachment—and how these patterns show up in dating and long-termrelationships.
Why it matters: Perfect for anyone tired of repeating the samerelationship cycles and wanting more emotional safety and clarity.
5. The Wild Edge of Sorrow byFrancis Weller
Topic: Collective Grief, Ritual, Emotional Depth
Weller introduces the “Five Gates of Grief” and explains why grief is not anindividual burden, but a communal experience. Poetic, validating, and deeplyhuman.
Why it matters: A beautiful companion for anyone grieving a loss, thestate of the world, or their own unmet emotional needs.
Final Thoughts: Healing is Not aSolo Project
These books arenot a substitute for therapy, but they can be a powerful supplement. Theyremind you that your pain makes sense, your story matters, and there arepractical ways to shift long-held patterns.
If you’re readyto go deeper in a safe, supportive space, I offer trauma-informed therapy for adults navigating identity confusion,grief, anxiety, and relationship struggles—especially those living abroad orwith a history of childhood trauma. Book a free consultation today.
Tags:
best psychology books for trauma, books about childhood emotional neglect,grief books for adults, therapy book recommendations, nervous system healingbooks, best mental health books, trauma-informed therapy tools, books forhealing childhood wounds, DBT and trauma reading list, attachment theory books,self-help books for emotional regulation, how to heal from childhood neglect,books for highly sensitive people, somatic trauma books, English-speakingtherapist Europe
