Christina Babich Psychology

Attachment Styles Explained: How They Shape Your Relationships and How Therapy Can Help

Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same painful patterns in relationships? Whether you feel overly anxious, shut down when things get too close, or struggle to trust others—attachment styles could be the key to understanding your emotional responses and relationship behaviors.

Attachment theory offers a powerful framework for uncovering these patterns and beginning to heal. By learning about your attachment style, you can stop blaming yourself, break free from unhealthy dynamics, and build deeper, more secure relationships.

What Is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory was first developed by psychologist John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth. It explains how our early bonding experiences—especially with caregivers—shape the way we relate to others throughout life.

These early experiences influence how we seek closeness, handle conflict, trust others, and express emotions. In adulthood, this becomes your attachment style.

The 4 Main Attachment Styles

Secure Attachment
- Feels comfortable with closeness and autonomy
- Communicates openly and honestly
- Trusts others and can handle emotional ups and downs
If this is you: You’re likely to have stable, fulfilling relationships. You know how to express needs, tolerate space, and maintain trust.
🛠 How to grow: Even with a secure base, emotional self-awareness and consistent communication are essential to nurturing strong connections.
Anxious Attachment (Fear of Abandonment)
- Craves connection but fears being left
- Constantly seeks reassurance
- Struggles with low self-worth and overanalyzing
If this is you: You may feel deeply anxious if someone takes too long to reply, or worry about being “too much.” You often put others' needs first, fearing rejection.
Therapy tools that help:
- CBT & CPT – Challenge negative thoughts like “I’m not enough.”
- DBT – Manage emotional intensity and build distress tolerance.
- ACT – Learn to sit with fear without reacting impulsively.
Avoidant Attachment (Fear of Losing Independence)
- Prioritizes independence and self-reliance
- Struggles to be emotionally open
- Feels discomfort with vulnerability or emotional needs
If this is you: You might feel smothered by emotional closeness or pull away when things get serious. You may be viewed as distant or emotionally unavailable.
Therapy tools that help:
- ACT & DBT – Learn to tolerate emotional intimacy without shutting down.
- CPT – Reframe beliefs about dependence and vulnerability.
- Mindfulness – Build comfort with emotional presence.
Disorganized Attachment (Push-Pull Dynamic)
- Craves intimacy but fears being hurt
- Struggles with trust and consistency
- Often linked to trauma or chaotic early relationships
If this is you: You might feel torn—wanting love but fearing closeness. You may cycle through emotional highs and lows, feeling both drawn to and afraid of connection.
Therapy tools that help:
- CPT & Trauma Therapy – Safely process relational trauma.
- DBT – Build stability and regulate intense emotions.
- Self-compassion & Boundaries – Learn what healthy connection looks and feels like.

How Attachment Styles Impact Relationships

Attachment styles influence nearly every area of connection—how we deal with conflict, express needs, manage jealousy, and respond to intimacy.

Examples of common dynamics:

Anxious + Avoidant: One partner craves closeness, while the other pulls away, leading to a frustrating “chase and distance” cycle.
Secure + Anxious: The secure partner may feel overwhelmed, while the anxious partner seeks constant reassurance.
Disorganized: Inner turmoil creates unpredictable behaviors—closeness is both desired and feared.

Understanding your style helps you notice these patterns in real time—and change how you respond.

Can You Change Your Attachment Style?

Absolutely. Attachment styles are not life sentences—they’re learned patterns, and like all learned behaviors, they can be unlearned with awareness and support.

Through therapy, you can:

Increase self-worth
Reframe negative beliefs about connection
Build emotional regulation skills
Learn to tolerate intimacy and communicate your needs
Practice mindfulness and self-trust

Healing attachment wounds begins with building a secure relationship with yourself—and from there, healthier connections naturally follow.

Ready to Build Healthier Relationships?

If you’re tired of repeating the same painful relationship patterns—or if you’ve never felt truly safe in emotional closeness—therapy can help you rewrite the story.

I’m Christina Babich, a certified English-speaking trauma therapist with a Master’s degree in Clinical and Health Psychology. I specialize in attachment-focused therapy, trauma recovery, and emotion regulation, working with clients across Europe (including expats in France, Germany, Switzerland, and more).

My integrative approach combines CPT, CBT, DBT, and ACT to help you understand your patterns, develop security, and create lasting, meaningful relationships—starting with the one you have with yourself.

Book a free consultation today.

Relevant Articles

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Attachment Styles Explained: How They Shape Your Relationships and How Therapy Can Help